Friday, May 28, 2010

The 20 Tico Rules of "Pura Vida"

THE 20 TICO RULES OF "PURA VIDA"

1. "Yesterday never happened and tomorrow does not exist". Every day is the first day.
2. "I don't know" is NEVER an acceptable answer to a question. If you don't know the answer, pretend like you do.
3. Having more than one family is OK. Really.
4. All gringos are wealthy. They are cows. Milk them.
5. Charging Ticos lower prices and foreigners higher prices for goods and services is NOT a form of discrimination.
6. "Thou shalt not steal" is NOT one of the Ten Commandments.
7. "Mañana" does not mean "tomorrow". It means "not today" (or, more accurately, "never at all").
8. Never attempt to complete a task correctly the first time. The third or fourth time is perfectly acceptable. Example: Nueva Ley Transito, Caldera Highway.
9. Never question authority or leadership. It's just the way it is.
10. Avoid confrontation. Always be passive-aggressive. Example: If your neighbor screams in your face (especially if it's in front of someone else), walk away. Wait until night-time, break into his house, and steal his flat-screen TV.
11. Efficiency is the enemy. Inefficiency creates jobs.
12. Spread rumors at every opportunity.
13. Avoid responsibility and do as little as possible at work to preserve your pension.
14. Fútbol is NOT "the opiate of the masses".
15. Your "Mommy" was born without sin, like Jesus and the Virgin Mary.
16. When cleaning, never look up or on top of anything above eye-level.
17. All snakes are venomous.
18. All toads are poisonous.
19. Living with your Mommy after you're married DOES NOT mean you're a pussy.
20. It's NEVER your fault.

3 comments:

  1. That's brilliant. I laughed out loud.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cheap, ignorant and not funny.

    Cheers

    John

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get ready, John! I'm revivin' the blog! Wooo hooo!

      Delete